I Will Go Down With This Ship

Let's Set Sail!

6 notes

Anonymous asked: Oohoohooh! Jarida first born/new born omg please?

I lied. I read the prompt and just had to keep writing. XD oops. Maybe this’ll be the last until tomorrow. ((I promise I’ll write ALL the prompts!)) Gonna keep this one a little shorter too.
“It’s your turn.”

The little cries from the other room carry through the baby monitor as Merida throws the covers over her head in defiance. Jack nudges her again and mumbles. “It’s Wednesday.” Merida doesn’t move. “Come on Mer-“

“‘It’s Wednesday’, my ass,” the Scottish princess snarls. “I don’t care what day of the week it is. This is the third night in a row you’ve guilted me into losing sleep over /out/ daughter. I squeezed that baby out of my vagina and so help me Jack Frost, I will crush your head with my thighs if you-“

"Alright!! Jeez…" Jack throws off his blankets and stumbles out of bed. "But you owe me."

"Like shit I do."

Jack shuffles trough the darkness and Merida lets out a tired sigh, stretching her limbs across to his side of the bed. For some reason, his side always felt more comfortable when she knew she couldn’t occupy it for very long.

Through the monitor, Merida can hear Jack’s soft words and shushes, calming down their baby girl. Her cries turn to soft whimpers and then there is almost no sound at all. The silence is so soothing that Merida nearly falls back asleep right then, but then something happens.

A familiar melody sounds in her ears, faintly and fuzzy. She lifts her head slightly and presses her ear to the monitor. It was much too faint to hear for sure but it was almost uncountable. Was Jack….Singing?

Merida tosses her blankets aside and steps, quietly through the door and down the hall into the nursery. Jack stands, his back to her, cradling baby Rhoena in his arms. Mer leans against the threshold and smiles, recognizing the Scottish lullaby almost immediately. Memories of the song fill her hazy mind as Jack tucks Rho into her crib once again. Merida lazily shuffles one to him and wraps her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his back. Jack chuckles and runs his hand along her arm.

"We make one good looking baby." He smirks, turning around and planting a kiss on top of her head. Merida nods, blissfully.

"She’s beautiful."

Filed under Jarida I had trouble deciding a name but I like Rhoena I was torn between Keita Nessa Eowyn and Rhoena yeah prompts mine OTP baby

115,764 notes






Well, this is embarrassing

Left: Adrianne Palicki promo shot for NBC’s Wonder Woman.

Right: Kimberly Kane promo shot for ‘Wonder Woman XXX: An Axel Braun Parody’.

….is it just me or does the porno version outfit not only look WAY BETTER crafted and prettier, the actress also has more muscles, a nicer fitting chest piece and a waaay more fitting body type and skin tone.

Also the porno version doesn’t look more “feminine”/more sexy whatever.


the “official” one looks like a really bad Halloween costume

I mean fuck the porno one has bigger wrist cuff I REPEATE: BIGGER WRIST CUFFS PORNO WOMAN IS BETTER DRESSED TO KICK ASS *cries*

can someone contact the designer of the porno

clearly he/she knows how a womans body works.

It’s embarrassing when the official looks a like a porn and the porn looks like the official thing.

The thing that makes me stunned the most is that even the boobs of the porn version are cupped and held in better by her clothing than those of the official thing…

The moment a porn movie treats the boobs of a woman with more subtlety than a big name production, some staff changes are in order.

Also what up with the shiney blue pants? Doesn’t she wear… I dunno… Not pants?

(via vexingdexter)

Filed under dc wonder woman

2 notes

Anonymous asked: Hiccunzel eating IHOP like ridiculously late at night? :D

This ones shorter because I’m falling asleep! XD
The waitress sighs and shuts her notebook, clearly not in the mood for customers.

"Your food will be out shortly." And with that, she’s gone.

"I gotta say," Hiccup lets out a small laugh as their waitress walks off. "I have never seen someone quite as done with work as that lady." Rapunzel nearly chokes on her tea I’m a snort of laughter.

"She should just go home," she nods. "There’s literally no one else in here, besides you, me and that homeless fellow over there," Rapunzel motions to a stout, homely looking man, sleeping in one of the booths by the window and giggles. "We could have just too the chef what we wanted ourselves." The two of them laugh, although nothing is particularly funny.

"I just can’t believe you ordered French Toast instead of pancakes!" Hiccup says through his suppressed laughter. "That’s the whole reason why we came here in the first place!"

"So what!?" Punz leans back in her seat, the booth seats, squeaking beneath her.

"It’s called the ‘International House of PANCAKES’! Not French Toast." Hiccup widens his gaze and blinks at her, but she only stares blankly back at him. Her eyes glaze over with drowsiness. "Eh…Punz?" He tilts his head and waves his hand in front of her to catch her attention.

"ihoft," she whispers. Silence follows for a split second until suddenly, the couple bursts out in a laughing fit. Because apparently the acronym for "International House of French Toast" is just that funny.

The waitress returns during their hysteria and drops two plates on their table. She mutters “enjoy” before slipping back into the kitchen.

Rapunzel is the first to calm down, wiping a tear from her eye and looking down at her food. Her face twists into a frown when she catches a glimpse of Hiccup’s meal. He looks at her curiously.

"Everything alright?" She just blinks at his plate.

"After bugging me about not getting pancakes, you get /eggs/!?"

The restaurant gets quiet again, the only sounds are the snores coming from the man in the corner. Hiccup looks down at his omelet and scrunched his nose.

"IHOE." He says simply. And once again, they are sent into a giggle fit. Rapunzel gasps for air, halfway though her laughter and hiccup pounds his fist against the table in hysterics.

Two meals, two acronyms and one pissed off waitress later, they pair vow to make late night IHOP a tradition.

Filed under Lol Hiccunzel I'm laughing at myself IHOP ihoft ihoe LOL dang they cute tangled httyd hiccup Rapunzel OTP

3 notes

Anonymous asked: jarida having a pet? :DD

Sorry it took so long!

"What the hell is that thing!?" Merida gasps, drawing her legs up onto her bed, as her large wooden door swings open and in bounds Jack, trailed by the homeliest looking dog she’s ever seen.
“I found him in the woods.” Jack shrugs and pats the massive mutt on the head. The scraggly grey beast thumps it’s tail against the threshold. “He was all alone and I remembered you said you wanted a dog so-”

"Yeah, a /dog/. That’s not a dog! That’s a…a hellhound or something." Jack only laughs and bends down to scratch behind the pup’s ears delicately.

"Well I think he’s cute." He tosses a smirk at the redhead and raises an eyebrow. "And besides, he’s free." Merida rolls her eyes and flops her hands down in her lap, obviously on the losing side of this predicament.
“No dog is ‘free’, Jack. He needs food-“

"We’ve got chickens."
“And water…”
“There’s a well.”
“And a place to sleep-“
“He can sleep in our bed.”

Jack’s rebuttals just keep coming, leaving her with no winning points. She stares at him, her jaw clenched in aggravation.
“Come on Mer!” Jack rolls his head back and groans. “Just look at him! You can’t say no to a face like this.” The white haired boy grabs the dog’s jowls and makes his own puppy dog eyes.

"I can, and I will."
“I’ll let you name him…?”
“No.” Merida crosses her arms and tilts her head, expecting another barrage of bribes, but instead, what Jack does takes her by surprise.

"Oh, good because I’ve already named him."
He says it so casually that she almost /has/ to laugh.
“Oh really?” She teases, quirking an eyebrow, curiously.
“Yes, really.” Jack doesn’t look at her. He keeps his eyes on the mutt as he ruffles it’s wiry, grey fur.
“And what’d you name him?”

"Faolan." He smiles when he finally replies and Merida has to admit, she likes it as well. But she quickly shakes her head and sighs.
“We can’t keep him, Jack. He’s a wild thing. He belongs out there, in the woods. Not cooped up in here.” Jack’s smile only grows.

"Pardon?" Jack finally stands back up and takes a wide stride toward Merida. Faolan mimics his movements. It’s like they had practiced this.

"He’s a wild thing. Is he any different from you? Or me?" Merida bites her lip. "You say it all the time, ‘we don’t belong, stuck away in some palace.’ Neither does he." Jack lays a hand on the wolf’s back and narrows his eye. "He’s perfect for us. We can take him hunting, and give him baths with Angus…" His words stop but his eyes seem to scream his pleas. Merida has to look away.
“…He smells.” It’s her final retort. The last argument against the beast. The laughter that follows the statement makes her chew back her own pitiful scoffs.
“So do you.”

He knows. He knows he’s won and so does she. Merida lets out a long sigh and taps her fingers against her knee, pretending to be deep in thought.
“I hate it when you talk me into these things.” The words barely make it out of her mouth before Jack is tackling her onto her back, in a bone crushing hug. Before her head hits the mattress, Faolan runs his slimy tongue across the back of her hand.
“You’ll love him, I swear!” Jack plants a thankful kiss on her temple and Merida can’t help but roll her eye.
“Yeah, yeah…”

The night falls without much warning. The day seemed to have slipped away so quickly. After bathing the stench off of their newest companion, Jack had invited Faolan to sleep at the foot of their bed. Only, the massive wolf-like dog didn’t much like the loneliness on the end of the mattress.
At some point in the middle of the night, Faolan wriggles his way to the head of the bed. He wedges himself between Merida and Jack, letting out little grunts of discomfort throughout the entire endeavor. Merida opens her eyes and groans, as the heavy hound rests his muzzle against her face. His warm breath coats her cheek with a misty film and she sighs. Fao thumps his tail against the mattress when they make eye contact through the darkness. It’s only a brief moment of staring, but something must click in the dog’s brain.
In an instant, he flips his body over and stretches his paws against Jack, sliding closer to Merida. Before she can do anything about it, there’s a dull thunk and an “oof” from somewhere on the floor.

"…the hell…?"
The groggy Jack stands up and rubs his drowsy eyes, blinking at Merida through the darkness. He runs his hand across hip and winces in pain. “Move over, ya mangy mutt.”
Merida smirks as the dog whines and spreads himself across the mattress in defiance. Jack pushes against it’s body, but to no avail. Mer can’t help but chuckle.
“It isn’t funny. Move over.” Jack grumbles.

"Sorry," she chuckles. "Don’t wanna fall outta bed." She motions for her feet and grins. "I think there’s room down there though, if ya wanna curl yourself up in a wee ball."
Jack sputters in disbelief but after a while, shakes his head and ops down on the end of the bed. Faolan yelps in triumph and nuzzles under Merida’s arm. She smiles and tightens her grip on the wolf.
At least this one keeps her warm.

Filed under Ps Faolan means young wolf and I'm a loser for knowing that AU mine Jarida prompts puppy yes yes more ROTBTD

2 notes

Anonymous asked: jarida: meeting each other's ex's and laughing about them later when they're alone

"I hate reunions." Jack mutters under his breath, as he and Merida step through the doors of their old high school gymnasium.

"You said that already." Merida smirks, slipping her hand through atheist crook of his arm. "And we’ve already established that I do too, and we’ll only be here for an hour, tops." She brushes her unruly, red hair out of her eyes and puts on the most polite smile she can muster. Jack lets out a huff of annoyance, but does the same, attempting to make the best of what he assumes will be a pretty shitty evening.

And of course, within ten minutes, he’s correct.

"Merida? Is that you?"

"No way! Hiccup!" Before Jack can turn to catch a glimpse of the source of the voice, Merida is detached from his arm and embracing a tall, dark-haired, young man. His curiosity spikes, along with the hair on the back of his neck.

"You must be Jack." The boy called Hiccup greets him with less enthusiasm, but still, there’s a smile in his bright, green eyes. "Merida’s told me all about you."

"Has she?" He tries his best not to sound uninterested but with little success.

"Jack you remember Hiccup…?" Merida quickly tries to recover the conversation.

"No." Merida winces in discomfort and gives him a stern look as if to warn him to be nice. He chews his lip and shrugs. "I mean…I don’t remember a lot of people. Did we have classes together, or…?"

"Merida and I used to date." The words slam against Jack’s eardrums like a train. "We met one before at the sophomore dance." The memories start to flood back. He was much shorter back then. Skinner too. As a matter of fact, he distinctly remembers Merida complain about those trivial things way back when. Jack nods slowly and chuckles awkwardly.

"Oh yeah, I remember you." I was dating Elsa at the time. We almost went on a double date but then Merida-"

"Okay~" Merida breaks him off with a pitifully laugh and clings to his arm again. "You know now that you mention Elsa, I don’t think we’ve properly met before." She scans the room with curious eyes. "You think she’s here?"

"I just saw her over with her cousin by the chocolate fountain. I can go get her if you’d like."

"No, that’s fi-"

"Yes, thank you Hiccup!" Merida smirks and cuts him off again, tightening her grip on his forearm. "I can’t wait to meet her." Jack throws her a glare as Hiccup saunters off into the crowd.

"What was that for?" Merida frowns and gives him her own glare, leaning closer to him.

"Hiccup didn’t take our breakup very well. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell him /why/ I did it." Jack widens his eyes.

"You never told him!?" Merida bites her lower lip and shrugs.

"I figured he didn’t need to know about what happened between me and Snotlout. I’m not proud of it." Jack lets out a scoff.

"It was 7 years ago!" He exclaims. "If he hasn’t moved on by now then-"

"Wow, look who actually decided to show up to something." The bitter remark is masked with a smile as a slim, white haired woman breaks into their hushed conversation. Jack can feel his face turn red in slight embarrassment.

"Yeah…" He mutters, at a loss for words.

"Hi, I’m Merida." Probably sensing the tension in the air, Merida interjects and sticks out her hand to greet the woman. Jack makes a mental note to remember to thank her later.

"I’m Elsa," she replies, simply. "That’s a lovely dress."

"Thanks." Merida beams and looks down at her gown. "My mother made it."

"Thrilling." It’s a bland statement that once again takes the normality out of the conversation. Jack shuffles his feet and clears his throat.

"I’m sorry, I have to use the bathroom…" He ignores the angry stare from Merida and slips away, hearing Elsa laugh coldly behind him,

"Careful, he might not come back."

He doesn’t know how long he’s pacing in the bathroom before the door flies open and Merida comes storming in, red-faced and flustered.

"Mer! Wha- what the hell!? This is the men’s room! You can’t be in here."

"It’s been an hour. We’re leaving." She grabs his hand and pulls him over to the window beside the row of sinks. Jack gives her a quizzical look as she props open the screen and slides through, almost effortlessly. She stands on the other side, impatient and wide-eyed. "Well are you coming or what?" Jack chuckles and slips through the bathroom window, popping the screen back in before anyone can even catch them escape.
“You /ditched/ her!?” Merida nearly spits out her ice cream cone in laughter as the two of them walk through the empty streets, on their way home.

"She said she wanted to marry me! We were 17!" Merida only laughs harder, nudging him with her elbow.

"That’s priceless! No wonder she made that remark about you not coming back, you asshole!" Jack rolls his eyes and nudges he back.

"You’re no better, Miss, ‘make-out-with-Snotlout-at-the-valentines-day-party’."

"We were drunk!!" She retorts, her mouth full of sprinkles. "I felt bad and broke up with Hiccup because that’s what a good person should do."

"Good people don’t hide their affairs for 7 years, Mer." He licks his own ice cream and snorts out a laugh.

"We were 16! I’d hardly call that an affair!"

They laugh together as they wander through the moonlit neighborhood, hand in hand as they go. The evening didn’t turn out to be quite so bad after all.


Filed under Jarida prompts answered OTP yes yes please more I love this fluffy Jarida Jack Frost Merida ROTBTD